Today's mood is horrible.. Dun ask me why.. I oso dunno... Jus feel veri veri down, veri veri blue... Felt like crying.. (Who is willing to lend me their shoulder??).. but cannot cry in office.. I teared while no one was looking.. I'm feeling really down.. but who knows?? Nobody care i guess...
I'm doing Data Cleaning today again.. Veri bored.. everytime i oso fall asleep.. So sianz.. everyday see e same thing.. Oh ya.. Today, I realise tat e pple here, speak one thing and meant another.. Which means.. They expect u to read in between their lines...
When i first entered tis company..I thought my attachment would be different b'cos Ben says that the pple here are all nice pple.. but when 2 weeks have pass, I feel like I'm going thru e worst 11 weeks of my life.. not onli I'm super stress working with Ben and Adrian, I also had to tolerate u pple's eyes on me.. Waiting to see me fail and get kick out.. Somehow, I'm determine to stay on b'cos I wan to pass my IPP.. mayb u all are really nice pple.. and I admit tat some of u are really nice.. But please.. give me a break.. dun pin such high hopes.. I'm still a youngster.. I cannot take it... It's veri hard on me... I know attachment was never easy.. but pls, kindly help my life easier can...
Thinking of coming to work everyday is a dreaded thing.. thinking tat I have to tolerate all things tat I hate jus b'cos I dun wish tat pple talk bad abt my bosses cos they are really nice pple.. And oso dun wish to throw e face of NYP.. Tat's is the main reason why I'm tolerating all things and trying to face it myself.. Ben, Adrian & Rik are nice pple.. I dun wish to spoil their good reputation for allowing my stupid mistakes.. Tat is why I listened to wat everyone tells me.. Not to do this, not to do tat.. even when I saw things tat I hate or when pple say things tat really hurt me, all I can do is to tolerate....
Ben & Adrian, Thanks for tolerating my stupid questions and mistakes... hehe...
God~ Help me~...
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