the msg came.. decision has been finalized.. where to go, where to be?? I also dunno..
After being here for so long, we are already a family.. Suddenly say we hav to leave.. Feelings are weird and confusing.. Everything jus seems not to be goin my way.. No matter is at home, with friends or at work.. Nothing is goin my way..

I dun tink there is any words that I can use to describe my feelings at the moment..
E kind of emotions i am feeling.. sometimes or at least for the next few weeks or months cannot not be described with words.

I hav absolutely no idea, what would be my decision..
I dunno what i shld do..
I no longer know wat is the correct thing and right thing to do..
I no longer know where is the correct place to be..
I no longer make my own decisions..

I live everything in your hands
Trusting tat u will tell me where to be
what to do
what decisions to make..
it's been so many years since i know u..
it's been soo long since we talk.
it's been so long since i seek comfort in u..
For years, i've been askin myself if i've been worthy of wat u've done..
Till now, i still do not hav an answer..
Probably only u know. =)
I've been wanting to catch up with someone..
But u've not been free..
Wait till u're free ba..
N when u are free, remember to text me..
So tat i can cry out loud to u..
With no one else listening..
N i can lean unto u..
For ur listenin ear n comforting shoulder..

But of cos, tat would be hard..
Since ur hand is taken up..
So I guess, I onli hav my own shoulder to lean on for now...
Till i find someone whom i can lean on..

Till then...

Nitez pple..
I never knew uncertainty can bring abt so MUCH unhappiness n hurt..
Everyone is afraid of uncertainty.. I know that..
But I never had so much uncertainty in my life.

As at this point of time,
- I do not know where I will be stayin at next year. Yes, the current hse is sold and we will hav to move out by Mar next year. Where to?? I also dunno.. Probably like what i told some people --- Under the bridge ba..
- Changes are underway at work too. ALOT of changes. N for all u know, i might not be doing the same thing in 3 mths time..
- Degree studies is ending soon.. 1 and a half more semesters, i'll be done. What's next??

As of now, whenever my parents bring up e issue / matter of this hse is being sold, we will be moving or whatever so ever things related to that, I will jus keep my mouth shut and not said a thing. Reason??

Thanks to all who showed concern. Very much appreciated even thou at this point of time, I still VERY affected by that. It is already a fact and i can only accept it. Jus Praying hard that everything will turn out good.

Recently, office have this campaign of "SMILES". Smiling to all pple that u see, to all pple that comes into ur sight as well as smiling to all who helped!

So here,

What do u do when u are upset?

I ate tempura ice cream @ Sakae today.
I ate an ice cream cone early in the morning yesterday.
I also ate quite a big cup of ice cream on Sunday.
Happenings is something we see everyday.. But until tat day when things happen to us or on us or near us.. then we feel it..

Whatever it is, the only thing we can do is to look forward i guess.. Haha..
Abt my own life, I guess it's not exactly something i wanna say to everyone..
Afterall, it's world wide web isn't it.. Hahaa...
For those who know, u know lo..
For those who don't, mean you don't lo...
For everything tat u guys know, it's shared only to u..

Well, tat's abt all.. Let's share abt some happy happenings ba..
We visited Hsiao Ling on Sat, to visit her and of cos her son, Evans..
When I said we, of cos other me, there was Ashley and Myrtle!!
It's been very very long since we last saw each other.. All 4 of us.. Haha...

We talked quite a fair bit, including recent happenings and everything tat we've been thru these days.. And yes, Hsiao ling is carryin her 2nd son.. Haha... Her EDD is early next year.. so we told her, the best date to give birth, is 1mth or more before CNY.. So tat she can eat all e good n nice food.. Hahaaa... We entertain Evans for awhile before he went to nap..

We left ard 3plus n headed to town.. Waited for Yvonne n Bryan to end movie before heading to dinner.. Yes, i waited for them since it was an a unplanned meetup.. Seat at starbucks for say.. 2 n half hrs ba.. Kekez..
Tat's all for this weekend.. Things tat are suppose to plan to happen on Sunday did not materialize afterall. Some decisions were made and probably nothing will change all.. All i can say is: It's over. Everything is going back to normal le.

Going to SLEEP le.. Tml still got work and class.. Anything looking for me, text me ba.. NITEZ friends! =)
The past few days hav been quite a torture for me..
Not that i hav not gone thru this before but during the previous times, I was too young to understand anything..

Yes, a couple of pple know already... Yvonne, Maryanne, Jeslin n Mana..
I will be moving hse due to some issues in the family..
Not to sure where I would be movin to as of now.. Or rather, I have no idea where I can move to.

No doubt, I am worried. Not exactly abt where I am goin to stay in the future but more for us, together. I wan to keep us together. Even thou at this point of time, we don't exactly see each other much, we know that we care. I know that when I wake up, come back or lying in my bed, I am at home, comfortably. That i dun hav to worry abt alot of things bcos i have the 3 of u to help me take care of stuff. I hav no idea how are things goin to turn out in the future but I really hope that it would be the best.

I was texting Maryanne while on my way home today n I said," There is always a saying that goes: When you hit rock bottom, there is no where else to go except up." I believe in it n I am goin to leave everything to God. That He will make a way when there seems to be no way.
To that person:
"Why did u do it again? Why was lesson never learnt?? I treated u with absolute respect, thinking that you probably after so many times, would not do it again and the question of "Where are we going to stay?" would probably not appear again. But u failed to keep ur promise of staying away from all these. Instead, u carried on and everytime, issues jus get bigger and BIGGERR.. N ur option when it happens? "We are going to sell the house."

That was the first statement that came out of your mouth. I am upset. Veri veri upset bcos u never tried to keep us together. I am upset bcos here I am trying my best to keep things going and there u are pulling things apart. WHY?

School work is piling up. Projects n assignments are due-ing soon. Focusing on my study is only thing I can do now to take my mind off what is happening at home. N talking to pple do help.

Thanks to those who listened... I believed that I'll be fine. =)