today will be my last day in KM.. dunno if shld feel happy or feel sad. sometimes, I felt tat i never belong here.. but today, there was a feeling of 不舍得。。 mayb i was here too long le ba.. until now, I still dun feel like leaving.. anyway, I dun really like MRC either... sometimes i feel tat life is really not within my control... there are lots of things, I feel like doing but it never happened... I was talkin to Gwen the other day.. She was saying that cell change le.. now, the older group.. as in 'O's and above..they are called "Salt and Pepper".. funny.. anyway, Gwen asked me to go back to Cell tis sat... I'm still tinking... really.. still tinking if ishld appear.. there is a sense of uncomfortable wif the people there.. mayb not gwen, david and sebastian.. but Jean Shen?? i dunno... We were never close if i were to state the fact.. not even if Gwen, david and sebast... sometimes, i really wonder... who was i really close wif?? Ivy?? mayb not too... not even Robin i tink... Sometimes... Human's memory are limited.. I might already be out of their mind... If there is tis day i ever go back to church, I believe, I'll be treated like I'm a newcomer.. Am I?? mayb i am.. I never undertand wat was the place that God stood in my heart.. until when I came into Poly.. hsiao Ling said that I sdhld be living for God and not other things.. Sometimes I wonder... Wat's the thing that motivate me in my life..
In my poly life, I would say that without God, I would hav never be who I am now... I use to just do wat I tink was right... b'cos to me.. my principle then was that I dun hav to care abt how others tink of me.. but now, I know.. God is always up there watching..... And my behaviour have to reflect how he had taught me thru his word... now my principle :No matter wat happen, as long as your trust is in God, turn outs will always be in a way that benefit you.. it might not be the outcome that u wish for..But it is for sure the best outcome that U could hav...
I thank God that for giving me so much things that I own.. everything was given by him.. without him, I wouldn't even have the chance to get into Poly with the result in my sec sch days to be one of the last 10 in my class.. Without, I wouldn't hav been who i am... I always thought that growing up was never diffcult.. but now.. I realise that it really is.. I've fallen lots of times.. It was God that pick me up... it was God that gave me the courage to stand up again and continue walking the walk of life b'cos I trust that nto matter wat happen, the outcome is always God's plan for me..
THANK GOD... I LUV HIM...
No comments:
Post a Comment